I'm having a terrible time letting go. Andrew is now 14 weeks old. I have breastfed him the longest of all my children...I don't want him to let go. Physically, I am ready to stop breastfeeding...emotionally, I am not. When I stop, I will never breastfeed another baby ever again. The whole purpose of a woman having breasts is to feed a baby. When I feed him formula for the first time, I know it will be the end. The end of all the "firsts". At least that is what I will feel. After the first formula bottle, he will be on his way to leaving the nest.
I know it seems silly for me to think this way. After all, I will have the next 18 years with him. I just won't have that connection that I currently have with him. I lost that connection with my first child, Lydia, when she was 3 months old and I had to return to work. I lost that connection with my second child, Simon, when he was 3 months old when he decided to just use bottles and my milk dried up. I never had that connection with my third child, Sophia, when she was born early and in the NICU for so long. I want that connection to last as long as possible with Andrew.
I want to be the first one to see his first solid food, his first step, his first word......I am in the Last Firsts Time period.....
All 4 kids!!