Tuesday, October 30, 2012

What is Today??

The days have gone by so fast, I don't even know what day it is! I stay so busy that sometimes I forget to eat. I go to use the bathroom and get side tracked only to realize three hours later that I never made it to the bathroom. My husband calls in the afternoon asking if I need him to go to the store before he comes home and I say, "Didn't you just leave?" Where do the hours go? Between feeding and changing Sophia (now 7 months old), potty training Simon (now 19 months old), home schooling Lydia (in 2nd grade), keeping the house clean, laundry done, and mouths fed, I really haven't found the time to blog much anymore. I am doing it now with Sophia in my lap eating, Simon in bed napping, and Lydia busy watching a newer version of the cartoon "Pound Puppies". We are all ready for Halloween...pumpkins carved, candy bought, costumes laid out, cookies made...except for the little fact that EVERYONE in the house is sick with a cold! I'm hoping that everyone will be better for the annual treat of trick-or-treating. I am in so desperate need of raiding some chocolate....

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Normal Again???

Will it ever be normal again?? I know that my life, from this point on, will never be the same. So much has changed in the last year that it is impossible to get things back to the way they were. But we have settled into a new routine. My husband wakes up around 7ish, goes to work around 9ish, comes home around 6ish. My 7 year old gets up around 8am, eats, plays, eats, plays, eats, plays...etc. This cycle happens about every 20 minutes. Literally!!! My 14 month old wakes up around 7am, eats, plays, naps, eats, plays naps, eats, plays, naps...etc. This cycle happens about every 6 hours or so. My 2 month old wakes up around 6am, eats, poops, sleep, eats, poops, sleep, eats, poops, sleep...etc. This cycle happens every 3-4 hours. With a 5 hour sleep from about 9pm to 2am. Me, you ask?? Me, well....I get about 5 hours of sleep a night (not all at once). I used to get 8-10 hours of sleep. I wake up, sometimes get a shower, get everyone fed, check my email real quick, wash clothes, feed kids, wash dishes, feed kids, clean kitchen, feed kids, clean living room, feed kids, clean bedrooms, feed kids,  sometimes remember to eat lunch around 2ish, vacuum house, feed kids, straighten bathrooms, make dinner (unless my husband decides to bring it home), feed everyone, clean kitchen, get kids to bed, and then I sit down. I relax.....until the baby starts crying. Then I go burp her and try to settle her down for a good 4-5 hour sleep. That's my day....when we don't have to go anywhere. When I do have to leave the house, watch out!!!

Monday, April 23, 2012

Longest Roller Coaster Ride of All

When i got on this roller coaster, I didn't know how long it would last. It has taken me forever to get off this ride. With all the ups and downs we have encountered with Sophia being in the hospital, I have stopped asking, "what else can go wrong?" Sophia has been on several countdowns to going home. She will have  a going home date set and then she will have an "event" where she stops breathing, becomes limp, turns blue, and her heart rate drops. Then the countdown will go back to zero. We went home on March 31st so that our oldest daughter, Lydia, could have her birthday party with friends the next day. That night, our dog, Ginger, got hit by a car and died. She was an indoor pet that we had gotten when she was a  puppy four years ago. It broke Lydia's heart! I didn't really like the dog myself (I'm not really a dog person), but my heart broke for Lydia. She called it the worst day of her life. Although we know that it will not be. In fact, the worst day of her life is probably coming up real soon. My mother-in-law, her Granny, has terminal cancer and she is now in the last days of her life. They have now put her on an IV drip with morphine to ease the pain. I tend to wonder if God took our dog to prepare Lydia for the passing of her Granny. Lydia loves her Granny more than anything on this earth. We talked to her some Saturday night about Granny and her sickness. She understands what is going on, but doesn't like it. We all have our questions of "Why?" I don't know. I just don't know. I don't know why Sophia came 6 weeks early, I don't know why Ginger got hit by a car, I don't know why Granny has tonsil cancer when her tonsils got taken out when she was 7 years old. I don't know why God allows bad things to happen. Sophia will be 6 weeks old tomorrow. She is still in the NICU. She is now on day 3 of a 5 day countdown. She should come home Wednesday. I pray that her Granny can hold on long enough to see and hold her third grandchild. I know this is selfish of me, I know that she is in a lot of pain. I feel that she is hanging on just to see her. I pray the countdown doesn't start over again. I pray this roller coaster will come to a stop and I can just get off.

Friday, March 30, 2012

Victory in Jesus!!

While dealing with the ordeal with our youngest daughter, we are fortunate enough to have a house provided for us to live in until we can go back home. My uncle Ken is the pastor of a church that has two homes that were built for people to live in while they are going through a hard time, whether it is due to a house fire, or an instance like ours. These "Victory Houses" have allowed our family to still live as a family apart from our own house. I have stained the floors with many tears and wonder just how many tears have been shed from other families that have stayed in these homes. We are also blessed that God sent Sophia to this city, rather than another, because I have so much family here. I can't imagine how much harder it would have been to be in a city where I knew no one. Living in the city is so much different than the county. There are reasons I love the country living. I hear the "Boom, Boom" of the music from a car and I know that Mark is home from work....in the city, I hear that sound every three minutes or so. In the county, I can go outside in my pajamas, to get the mail, if I want to and not see a single person....in the city, well, not only do you see lots of people, but most of them don't even care that they still have their pajamas ON!! I love the drive time from our house to the city, it's where I spend most time praying to God. However, one of the things I LIKE about city living is that it takes no time at all to get anywhere. If I want to go to the grocery store three times a day, I could, because it is right down the street!! And when I say "right down the street" I don't mean it like I do at home....I literally meant it!! "Right down the street" at home means, my church is right down the street (about 7 miles from the house). The kids even notice the difference, for instance, the other day, my aunt Bonnie offered to watch Lydia and Simon for me while Mark was at work so that I could go visit Sophia at the hospital. We turn out of the driveway, drive a half a mile down the street and turn on another street. Simon had already fallen asleep (he knows that once we get in the car, it's time for a nap because it takes us 30 minutes to get into town), and Lydia asked for me to put one of her music CD's in the player. I said to her, "Not right now, we're almost at Aunt Bonnie's house." (Her house was a couple of miles away.) Lydia responds to that with, "ALMOST THERE?????? WE JUST LEFT THE HOUSE!!!!!!!" It was so funny, I laughed the rest of the way there- literally. And when we got there, I had to wake Simon up and he had this confused look on his face. He couldn't understand why his nap was so short! So there are some advantages to living in the city. The hospital is about 15-20 minutes away from where we are staying. My family members say that it is "all the way across town". To me, it feels like a 5 minute drive. I am just so used to driving at least 30 minutes to get somewhere! So, with the ups and downs of county versus city living, I do have to say that I truly miss home, but am so grateful for the house we have to stay in. Thank you so much uncle Ken for allowing us to reside in a Victory House while our baby girl gets better. My goal for her is to be home for Easter. How that would be a wonderful day to introduce her to all of our friends who are really our family.

Monday, March 19, 2012

How Are You Doing???

"How are you doing??" Such an overrated, rhetorical question that people only ask to be nice. They expect a simple "fine" answer. So, since you asked....I will tell you. The last week for me has been a very emotional roller coaster. It all started on Tuesday, March 13, 2012. I was going about my daily routine, cleaning house, taking care of the kids. Six more weeks before Baby Sophia was due to arrive. I was folding clothes and heard Simon wake from his nap. I got up to get him and needed to pee again...every time I got up, Sophia would sit on my bladder. I went to the bathroom and had some spotting. I wasn't too concerned, but called my husband anyway to let him know. He told me to call the doctor. I was going to wait until I went again (which would probably be in about 10 minutes) to see if I was still spotting then. About 20 minutes later I went to the bathroom again and had a bowel movement with a gush of water following. I thought, "Oh my gosh, I think my water just broke!" It was 3:45pm. Then my next thought was, "I haven't had time to take a shower since Sunday morning..." So I got in the shower and rinsed off quickly...I didn't want to go to the hospital stinking!!! Then I got out, got dressed, and called my husband. He told me to call 911. My daughter was playing with the neighbors next door and I was home alone with Simon (11 1/2 months old). I walked out on the front porch and called Lydia's name...hoping they were playing in the yard. No response. I came back inside and another gush of water came out, much more than before. Yep, my water had broken! I then called 911 and they told me to lay down where I was and check to see if I can feel the baby's head. Wow! As I am laying there, my daughter and her friend (also named Lydia) came over to get a popscicle because they were out of them next door. Thank God for little miracles! I told my Lydia that my water broke and go get Mandy (little Lydia's Mom) NOW!! My Lydia went to get Mandy and little Lydia walks in as if nothing is going on. She is 4 years old and she says, "Who broke your water???" Walking to our fridge, she opens it up and looks at our Brita Water Filter and says, "This broke??" She is so cute!! At this point, I am in no pain at all, just surrounded by water. Mandy comes to watch the kids, the EMT comes and checks me out...no crowning yet. Asks how far apart the contractions are and I say, "I really don't think I'm having any contractions yet." Like I said, I felt fine. I am just worried that it is 6 weeks too early. They load me up in the ambulance and take me away. On the way, around 4:30pm, I start having contractions about 2 minutes apart. I got car sick...those back roads, going fast, riding backwards....oh my...
I get to the Labor and Delivery room at 5:00pm. The doctor comes in, checks me, I am 4cm dialated, cervix still hard. He schedules an epidural (something I requested). It takes about 45 minutes for the anesthesiologist to get there and start the epidural. It took him 4 or 5 tries, but then finally said that it worked...it may have worked, but not fast enough...as I was starting to lay down I felt Sophia coming. I told the nurse that she is coming and I have to push. She said, no don't push, it's not time yet. I said, "YES IT IS TIME!!!" She runs out of the room to get the doctor and I feel the head coming out. I am holding the anesthesiologist's hand, while he is saying, "Oh My, Oh My, Oh My..." They made Mark leave the room while they did the epidural, so he wasn't even in the room with me. I yell out to the nurse (who is still MIA), "I NEED YOU IN HERE NOW!!!" She runs in the room and gets to the foot of the bed right as Sophia slides out. I basically delivered her myself! Two light pushes and she was out! 6:25pm. The nurse again leaves the room with me and Sophia on the bed. She is still attached to me and we are all alone. They had nothing ready in the room for a baby. The nurse comes back with scissors to cut the umbilical cord.  I, and everyone else in the hospital, then hears over the intercom, "Code 14, Labor and Delivery, STAT" This perks Mark's ears up and walks out of the waiting room to see what is going on. He comes in the room to see his daughter already in a bassinet bed. The doctor then comes in (he had gone to the cafeteria to get a coffee while they were doing the epidural-remember I was only at 4cm) and says, "Well, she didn't want to wait, did she???" LOL!!! I got to hold Sophia for about 10 minutes before they took her away. She weighed 7lbs, 1oz., 20in long. Imagine how big she would have been had I carried her another 6 weeks!! The doctor sits down to wait to deliver the afterbirth. It doesn't come. I am still having contractions to get the afterbirth out. The epidural never worked, go figure...After an hour, the doctor said I would have to go to the operating room to surgically remove the afterbirth. Two hours after Sophia was born, they roll me to the OR. They drug me up so much that I couldn't feel anything from my chest down. Four hours after she was born, the uterus relaxes and the afterbirth peels off. They didn't have to scrape it off!! I got to my room around 10:30pm. About 11:00pm, Mark finally comes in. His eyes were red and glassy looking. It scared me so bad. I knew, I just knew he was going to tell me that Sophia didn't make it. He didn't, thank God. But he did tell me that they were going to have to transfer her to a hospital an hour and a half away with a NICU. Her lungs weren't fully developed and she was breathing too fast. Imagine the emotional pain I was in. I also had a horrible headache that I thought was from me not having my glasses on. I asked for some pain reliever for that. It wasn't until the next morning that I found out the real reason for my headache and neck ache I was experiencing. Apparently, when they were giving me the epidural, I moved and some spinal fluid leaked out. I was having a spinal headache. This headache is 100 times worse than the worst migraine headache. They brought Sophia in at 3:30am Wednesday morning, 9 hours after she was born, for me to see her before they took her to the other hospital. I was released on Thursday, but wasn't able to get to Sophia until Saturday. I am able to hold her, but not for long because of the pain in my head and neck. It is now Monday and I am still in horrible pain. If only the pain would go away, then I could concentrate on all my kids. In hinds sight, I wouldn't have asked for an epidural...it didn't work for what I wanted it to work for anyway. I feel like I was in the hospital for a neck injury than I was for having a baby. I don't even feel like I had a baby! We are fortunate enough to have family close by and have available a home we can stay in so that we won't have to drive back and forth each day to see Sophia. I am sorry I don't use paragraphs when writing. I know it can be confusing, and my husband has fussed at me about it. Forgive me. Please pray for our family...the healing process may be long. So this is how I am doing.....How are YOU doing???

Monday, March 5, 2012

Eyes in the Back of my Head

Momma always said she had eyes in the back of her head. She always knew what was going on when she wasn't looking. I never knew, until now, how she knew everything we did. Momma's have this extra sense (maybe it IS the eyes) where we KNOW what you are doing, at all times. I told Lydia, my soon to be 7 year old, that I had eyes in the back of my head. Every once in a while I will catch her staring at the back of my head, wondering if what I said was true. I told her that she will find out when she grows up and have children. I also told her that for every child you have, you grow another set of eyes back there. She is a very smart girl, but I think I have her fooled with this little bit of information. She thinks that I have two sets back there and when the new baby arrives I will grow another. She asks me where they are and I tell her that if I try to show her, she won't be able to see them because they are closed. I am tempted to get an ink pen and draw straight lines in the back of my head to make it look like eyes are shut. Just to make her believe even more. I do have to say that this works for me...every time I know she has done something wrong, I give her a chance to "fess" up before I punish her. She knows that I know she has done something...she DOESN'T know that I have NO IDEA what it is she did. I can ask enough questions to make her believe I know exactly what she did, and she then just tells me what she did. And I say, "I know you did that!!" Some things are obvious as to what she did. Like, she will get my hair cutting scissors and chop some of her hair off. She does this often. What she forgets to do is put her cut hair in the trash. She will just leave it on the bathroom counter and is amazed that I found out she cut her hair. She will try to tell me she didn't do it, and I will see a slight dimple form on her cheek (she gets that from her Daddy). When he tries to fool me, his dimple shows plain as day on his face! Neither one of them can feel the dimple show itself, so they both think they are fooling me. Lydia always asks me how I know she has done something wrong, and I just tell her....I have eyes in the back of my head!!!!

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Okay, so I have started a blog...I remember being little and my older brother bought the first computer ever to enter our house. He saved up his paper route money and bought a Commodore 64 Apple computer. It was huge, the screen was green and it took forever to boot the system up. I remember thinking..."I could never figure out how to use this thing, I will never get one on my own!" Then when I got out on my own, I did get a computer, mainly to just type out stories, poems, anything that I could think of to write. My brother then kept on about how I should get a modem so that we can email each other. At this point it was the late '90's and he was then living all the way across the country in Colorado. I told him I didn't want to get all "Hi-tech". I didn't want the internet, couldn't understand it, it was man-made, eventually something would go wrong with it. He gave me a modem for Christmas. I couldn't refuse the gift, so I hooked it up. Through the phone line I got free e-mail. I told him it was faster for me just to pick up the phone and call him...easier too! Eventually I got married, and my husband wanted a faster internet service. I was comfortable with dial-up, just my speed! So we got a wireless hook-up. My brother is all about the "new" thing...so he got us hooked up with Skype. Now we can not only talk to each other over the internet, but we can talk face to face! Boy have we come a long way from that old Commodore 64. And now I am a blogger....whatever that means...