Monday, April 23, 2012

Longest Roller Coaster Ride of All

When i got on this roller coaster, I didn't know how long it would last. It has taken me forever to get off this ride. With all the ups and downs we have encountered with Sophia being in the hospital, I have stopped asking, "what else can go wrong?" Sophia has been on several countdowns to going home. She will have  a going home date set and then she will have an "event" where she stops breathing, becomes limp, turns blue, and her heart rate drops. Then the countdown will go back to zero. We went home on March 31st so that our oldest daughter, Lydia, could have her birthday party with friends the next day. That night, our dog, Ginger, got hit by a car and died. She was an indoor pet that we had gotten when she was a  puppy four years ago. It broke Lydia's heart! I didn't really like the dog myself (I'm not really a dog person), but my heart broke for Lydia. She called it the worst day of her life. Although we know that it will not be. In fact, the worst day of her life is probably coming up real soon. My mother-in-law, her Granny, has terminal cancer and she is now in the last days of her life. They have now put her on an IV drip with morphine to ease the pain. I tend to wonder if God took our dog to prepare Lydia for the passing of her Granny. Lydia loves her Granny more than anything on this earth. We talked to her some Saturday night about Granny and her sickness. She understands what is going on, but doesn't like it. We all have our questions of "Why?" I don't know. I just don't know. I don't know why Sophia came 6 weeks early, I don't know why Ginger got hit by a car, I don't know why Granny has tonsil cancer when her tonsils got taken out when she was 7 years old. I don't know why God allows bad things to happen. Sophia will be 6 weeks old tomorrow. She is still in the NICU. She is now on day 3 of a 5 day countdown. She should come home Wednesday. I pray that her Granny can hold on long enough to see and hold her third grandchild. I know this is selfish of me, I know that she is in a lot of pain. I feel that she is hanging on just to see her. I pray the countdown doesn't start over again. I pray this roller coaster will come to a stop and I can just get off.

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